When I first got clean, I was told relapse was inevitable. Statistics say that most people who struggle with addiction will slip up — some more than once. Science called it impossible to walk away and never look back. But here I am, more than 15 years clean from my drug of choice… and I’ve never once gone back. I remained sober against all odds.
It wasn’t willpower. It wasn’t luck. It was Jesus.
I didn’t grow up thinking my reality was one day I would be an addict. In fact to the outside world our family look very put together. My family was wealthy enough multiple cars, a nice home, vacations a couple times a year, and I went to a private school. My home life was a mess but that’s a story for another time. I never quite felt good enough for my parents (my mom and stepdad). My dad was pretty much nonexistent in my life at this point. By high school, I was numbing my pain with ecstasy, Xanax, Weed, and any other pill that could help me forget.
I was living fast, reckless, and empty. Nights blurred into mornings. Friends came and went, some died along the way, OD or ended their life willingly. The devil had me in a chokehold and he almost got me. That’s what he does, tells you are worthless, tells you no one will ever love you, everyone will leave you if they really knew who you were. I have news for you the devil is a liar in fact he is the King of Lies. He knows he wont win this war so he is trying to take down as many souls with him to hell as possible. He said I was worthless but Jesus called me by name. He told me I was chosen and I had purpose in Him.
“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,” 2 Timothy 1:9
2 Timothy 1:9 (NIV)
I was homeless at times, in toxic relationships, and on a fast train headed no where fast.
And then… everything changed. I finally surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I asked Him to take the burden I couldn’t carry alone.
I became the impossible a new creature.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
For years, I lived in chains. Addiction consumed my life, stealing my joy, my purpose, and nearly my future. I tried to quit more times than I can count, but no matter how determined I was, I always found myself back where I started—lost, broken, and empty.
Science says relapse is inevitable. The statistics are stacked against anyone trying to break free from addiction. And honestly, I believed that… until the day I met Jesus in the middle of my mess.
I had reached the point where I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I prayed with all the strength I had left, asking Him to take this burden from me. And when I truly surrendered—when I stopped trying to do it in my own strength and gave it all to Him—everything changed.
The cravings that once ruled me no longer had power. The cycle I thought I could never escape was broken—not by my willpower, but by His strength.
It’s been over 15 years since I last touched my drug of choice. Not one relapse. Not one moment of going back. And it’s not because I’m strong—it’s because He is. The old me is gone, and I am alive as a new creation in Christ.
If He can take someone like me—from brokenness, addiction, and hopelessness—and give me a new life, He can do the same for you. No matter how far you’ve fallen, you are never too far gone for His grace to reach you.
– Celeste
Grace in the Ruins Founder
If you have a story of how Jesus has worked in your life, I would love to hear it. You never know who your testimony might encourage.